Situation out of control, handling these feelings I hold.
Telling you one thing, knowing what’s true. That i really picture me & you.
More than what we are, but afraid to go that far.
All this time suppressing possibility. Always felt you, and you me.
What now’s, what if’s, and this is crazie’s all stirring my mind.
Is there a next level & will friendship be left behind.
What expectations are before us? Which words or feelings can I trust?
To this place I’ve never been. No crash course in falling for a friend.
Always been there lending a shoulder & an ear.
Never walked away witnessed every seen and unseen tear.
Showed you down to the very bare. Every secret, big & small, & still you care.
And just the very same, I’ve seen most of you.
The middle to the end, your secrets & truth.
Catch 22 or a perfect set up. Knowing all we need to know, or just a little too much.
Our biggest secret is what has become. No one can know or all will be done.
Put on a spotlight & judged by all, I seriously wished that I would not fall.
No one would understand, They thought we were only friends.
But now that’s minor, compared to the big league.
More important is this planted seed.
Growing to something more unexpected and unexplained.
Composing myself, playing it cool, when I hear your name.
Now afraid to share what’s inside, So funny, it’s in you always confide.
Have my moments when I convince myself, I’m tripping, get sober, move on to someone else.
Rebound syndrome, both sides, nothing else.
Let’s not fool ourselves, THIS will never be.
Far too afraid to allow you to be anything more than a friend to me.
Patricia Marie 2013